needs serotonin desperately :(

fuck life

I’m so mad at myself. i broke a promise last night, it was an extremely important promise that i not only made to my counsellor and my doctor i also made it to my mum and the majority of my friends.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I’m sorry …

love?

how come i can blow up 20 balloon without any of them exploding, and the one heart balloon i blow up, explodes after three huffs.

omen? i think so. clearly love hates me and i aint gunna find love. gah here i go being all pessimistic and down and what not. but WHATEVER. I dont need love. oh but i do, i need it bad.

bang and it could all go away. just like that balloon, clearly it had enough and boom, its remains were scattered in the living room. so i’m back with a counsellor at school, but only when i need it. so likely monday i’ll go make an appointment…

…

hmmm.

Its nice to know you guys care?

I don’t really know what to say. I’m in a good mood. I think. I don’t want  to do my homework. I like talking to you. BAM I had four grilled cheese sandwiches today.  AND I’m listening to Stacy’s mom – fountains of wayne! BEST SONG EVER

surprised?

well. i thought my brain would be a pile of mush after the three writing workshops that i attended on Sunday. but, surprisingly not. i wrote a poem after the workshop and i wrote an amazing one this morning at about 6:00am. i would share them. but I’m feeling self conscious about them << that's a first. well anyway. short blog post. have a nice day.

This a blog.

Bam, another post. whurrrt. Epic adventure with Sierra and Makayla. TROLOLOLOL what was that. a smile? why yes it was.

*sigh of relief*

i have been the happiest i have been in a long time recently. i like this emotion. i like sitting in class and smiling. i like smiling. and laughing at nothing. and i like talking to you. i like you

well.

let’s not go after that one then…

and breathe

okay so i have had time to calm down. sorry about that >< i was really upset that someone would break into my locker steal my belongings then break it, and lose it. i have every right to be fuming.

today was pretty good. lunch and writing class were the best! I LOVE CHEESECAKE!!!!!!!!  here is a shout out to the amazing girl who makes my day by bringing me cheesecake. ILU  writing class is awesome. this year we have some amazing people that like reading there stuff out loud and i like that. I also like the way you look at me and smile. i like that. i like that a lot. i like eating cheesecake and listening to the sound of your voice, i like that too.

i like coming home and finding out that my best friend, has applied for a residence visa in Canada and is more than likely moving here in August. i like that. i like pretty people, and people that talk lots. i like rain. i really like rain. i like taking pictures and having pictures taken of me. i like loaning out books, and having people tell me about how much they liked it. i like talking about characters and getting into arguments about which character is better and why. i realise that i like a lot of things. and i like that. i like warm showers with clothes on.  i think i like being wet in general

i like that emoticon. it looks cute. i hope all goes well at the vets today! i like my dogs, Sparky and Ruuqo. i also like gazing at my fish tank. okay, here are some pictures. the amazing Sierra Franklin took them. of me. don’t steal these. i will find you and curse your family :P  look on her blog!  http://whatliesbehindgreeneyes.blogspot.com/

what do you think? isn’t Sierra AMAZING at PHOTOGRAPHY

Zoh my god!

i have been meaning to blog for what feels like forever. but i just haven't got around to it, mainly cos time is something i lack.

current mood: fuck, if this year doesn’t end soon it is going to end me. i am so tired of everything going wrong. it may be the way i am thinking, but i haven't been thinking like this all year, only recently after the events that have happened. Seriously. I am tired of it. oh BTW we are taking sparky- my dog down to the vets in a couple of hours because she is sick. someone went into my locker and broke my fountain pen- this fountain means a lot, my dad bought it for me when he went back to England. that kind of means a lot to me- who the fuck goes into peoples lockers anyway? not only that they haven't returned it either. fuck. scratch magazine better arrive soon and word fest better be good, or there will be higher consequences to pay. I'm going to run out of room for butterflies…in other words. FUCK

do you know what, i want to write something happy here. but i can’t think of it. i am on my last straw with you, you are driving me insane!. and you, i cant wait to take pictures of you-i guess that is exciting, and you- i am so excited to see you, you touch you, i haven’t had a hug from you in over 2 years. less than a year now. i love you!

think positive think positive. not working…

change?

that was the original title of my blog, but i got distracted. so i decided not to blog today. here is a picture, or a few. they are all black and white. taken on the same day!

bam. shooting star.

i wish to be free.

from the chains you tied me in,

from the cell you locked me in

i wish to be free

i wish for you

not you, this is a different you,

a you that makes my knee’s weak,

a you with a phenomenal smile.

a you that is not you, because you are no longer a part of my life

but you are.

here you go.

here are a couple of pictures from an epic adventure with a pretty cool new friend i made.