this year has been a riot. i got mass amounts of partying in. fell in love, fell out of love, missed someone. missed loads of people and that will continue to happen forever. hurt myself, hurt someone else. cried, laughed, so much awesomeness has happened this year. what the hell is going to happen next year. truth be told. I'm scared. I'm really scared for grade 12. all that applying for universities and scholarships. and a whole year of doing fun things with your grade only to all depart and go separate ways at the end. it is quite intimidating. but what's even worse is that this time next year, I'm going to be packing my bags and getting ready to leave, to leave far away from home for long periods of time. to eventually leave home permanently. its all coming way to fast. i reckon second semester its going to really hit me. hit me so hard that ill fall over. when i think of the future i can only think of the stories my mum tells me about how she lost contact with all her high school friends but one. how they all moved on and forgot her and how she forgot them. i understand that we now have Facebook and Google+ but 10 years from now are you going to remember me.and am i going to remember you? but that one that she stayed in contact with was her best friend. will i keep in contact with my best friends. or will i be to busy with my own life to pick up the phone and dial their numbers. and if i do, will they be too busy to answer? who knows. i guess all we can do is hope for the best. meh. wish me luck. and good luck to you!
Saturday, 27 August 2011
yeh i said that...
fuck you for saying that.
fuck you for leaving.
fuck you for not being there
fuck you for everything else
why dont you trust me?
why dont you stay?
why dont you come to me?
why dont you like me?
fuck the world is all that needs to be said.
fuck the world and all who is in it
fuck the world for breaking me down
and fuck me for being who i am!
fuck you for leaving.
fuck you for not being there
fuck you for everything else
why dont you trust me?
why dont you stay?
why dont you come to me?
why dont you like me?
fuck the world is all that needs to be said.
fuck the world and all who is in it
fuck the world for breaking me down
and fuck me for being who i am!
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
i figure i should tell someone this...
just to let you know. if you happen to be drinking invermere tap water and you taste a bit of me and/or another guy. we went for a long run and it was really really really hot so we took a quick dip in a lake. which just so happens to be the very same lake that invermere gets its water from...lol but its okay. i have been told that i taste good ><
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
laugh out loud,
okay. so funny thing.
my whole name is : Thomas James Sydney Clare.
right?
wrong. that is my whole name in England. when i came to Canada they shortened one of my middle names so it can fit on my permanent residency card. so from here on. i shall be known as
Thomas James Sy Clare. because it was shortened on my permanent res, it is also shortened on my drivers license... stupid canadian hillbillies... lol
my whole name is : Thomas James Sydney Clare.
right?
wrong. that is my whole name in England. when i came to Canada they shortened one of my middle names so it can fit on my permanent residency card. so from here on. i shall be known as
Thomas James Sy Clare. because it was shortened on my permanent res, it is also shortened on my drivers license... stupid canadian hillbillies... lol
Thursday, 11 August 2011
its not what you think
dear mysterious girl who is considering asking met out,
your friend came up to me and asked me what i think of you. i told her i liked you, i have had a crush on you and well. i would like to date you. its just that, me and relationships = bad idea. i dont know what it is but recently i have had no interest in dating anyone. at all. i wouldnt mind friends with benefits but not the status of dating. plus, what could you see in me. all i see is a lost boy with low self esteem, who has no desire to do anything spectacular, who is bad at keeping girlfriends, and is mostly an idiot at times. i dont know what it is that makes people like me. would it be my wierd personality? is it the fact that i pretend not to give a fuck about what people think about me? to be honest. i dont know, and if i met someone exactly like me, would i like them, or would i think "what an annoying kid that guy is" to me, i seem very annoying. calling my friends every now an then, constantly asking people to go on skype so i can talk to them. i dont have a cell phone, so i cant randomly text you and wait for a reply, we have to time it just right and both be online at the same time if we wanna talk. what about my speech filter...its kind of broke, i dont often think about what im saying and sometimes that can lead to very bad things. also your leaving arent you?? why does everyone have to leave? i dont want to date someone that is going to leave me, because likely i will fall in love then i will break and ive already gone through a pretty severe depression that lead to many nights crying myself to sleep and many other horrific scenes of self harm. so do i want to risk it? but saying that...will i be alone for the rest of my life because im to scared to break up with my partner. have i no faith? apparently not. anyway, im sorry
your truly,
Thomas.
P.s. i love you.
your friend came up to me and asked me what i think of you. i told her i liked you, i have had a crush on you and well. i would like to date you. its just that, me and relationships = bad idea. i dont know what it is but recently i have had no interest in dating anyone. at all. i wouldnt mind friends with benefits but not the status of dating. plus, what could you see in me. all i see is a lost boy with low self esteem, who has no desire to do anything spectacular, who is bad at keeping girlfriends, and is mostly an idiot at times. i dont know what it is that makes people like me. would it be my wierd personality? is it the fact that i pretend not to give a fuck about what people think about me? to be honest. i dont know, and if i met someone exactly like me, would i like them, or would i think "what an annoying kid that guy is" to me, i seem very annoying. calling my friends every now an then, constantly asking people to go on skype so i can talk to them. i dont have a cell phone, so i cant randomly text you and wait for a reply, we have to time it just right and both be online at the same time if we wanna talk. what about my speech filter...its kind of broke, i dont often think about what im saying and sometimes that can lead to very bad things. also your leaving arent you?? why does everyone have to leave? i dont want to date someone that is going to leave me, because likely i will fall in love then i will break and ive already gone through a pretty severe depression that lead to many nights crying myself to sleep and many other horrific scenes of self harm. so do i want to risk it? but saying that...will i be alone for the rest of my life because im to scared to break up with my partner. have i no faith? apparently not. anyway, im sorry
your truly,
Thomas.
P.s. i love you.
Sunday, 7 August 2011
Thursday, 4 August 2011
and
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. thanks for the news i guess. i didnt want to hear it. but i guess now im gonna have to live with it. the cancer has taken full control of her body and she is basically a goner. i love you so much. even though i didnt get to see you much, you made the best desserts and you truly are amazing. xoxoxoxox i suppose its time to dry the tears and get back on track. FUCK YOU CANCER you fucking whore! i would really like to talk to YOU right now. but i doubt i will. you possess this magical power that makes everything better. and i really need a dose of it right now. fuck
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
when everything is silent
im sorry people. but i am incredibly bored...... here we go.
What size is the last bed you kissed on? i believe it was the floor....
When was the last time you were sick? sick in the stomache...all the time
Are you one of those people who are always cold? nope
What are you listening to? lord of the rings
How many more days until your birthday? i dont really care
Do you have any summer plans yet? summer is nearly over...
When was the last time you shaved your legs? erm...i really dont know...NEVER
Is there someone you wish you were closer with? yup
Do you tend to waste a lot of money? yeh, mainly on food...
Have any addictions? i cant say i do.
Are you anything like your siblings? no. nothing.
Have you ever had a stalker? i think so
What did you last drink? a glass of water
Have you ever received an injury from a hook up? no...i cant say i have
What did you last eat? i cant remember...
What was the best concert you have been to? band concert o.0
Who is the last person you hugged? i dunno. it was a couple of days ago though...
Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? yes like all my good friends are. except for one.
When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? i cant remember
What can you smell? sweat...
How many cell phones have you had? 2
Which school year do you think will be the saddest? this coming school year
Do you have trust issues? nope not really
Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? nope not anymore
Where do you get all your clothes? clothes shops
What did you do today ? hula hooped
How many more years of high school do you have? one
Do you have a YouTube account? yes...
Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? not anymore
Have you ever regretted kissing someone? no i havent
Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? nope
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yes
Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? maybe
Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? someone else
Will next friday be a good one? oh hellzzz yes next friday. not this one
When was the last time something bothered you? all the time
Do you think age matters in relationships? to an extent
Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? no
When will your next kiss be? probably next Friday. i tend to kiss a lot of people when im drunk...
Who was the first male you talked to today? my brother
okay that was kinda lame...
What size is the last bed you kissed on? i believe it was the floor....
When was the last time you were sick? sick in the stomache...all the time
Are you one of those people who are always cold? nope
What are you listening to? lord of the rings
How many more days until your birthday? i dont really care
Do you have any summer plans yet? summer is nearly over...
When was the last time you shaved your legs? erm...i really dont know...NEVER
Is there someone you wish you were closer with? yup
Do you tend to waste a lot of money? yeh, mainly on food...
Have any addictions? i cant say i do.
Are you anything like your siblings? no. nothing.
Have you ever had a stalker? i think so
What did you last drink? a glass of water
Have you ever received an injury from a hook up? no...i cant say i have
What did you last eat? i cant remember...
What was the best concert you have been to? band concert o.0
Who is the last person you hugged? i dunno. it was a couple of days ago though...
Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? yes like all my good friends are. except for one.
When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? i cant remember
What can you smell? sweat...
How many cell phones have you had? 2
Which school year do you think will be the saddest? this coming school year
Do you have trust issues? nope not really
Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? nope not anymore
Where do you get all your clothes? clothes shops
What did you do today ? hula hooped
How many more years of high school do you have? one
Do you have a YouTube account? yes...
Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? not anymore
Have you ever regretted kissing someone? no i havent
Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? nope
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yes
Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? maybe
Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? someone else
Will next friday be a good one? oh hellzzz yes next friday. not this one
When was the last time something bothered you? all the time
Do you think age matters in relationships? to an extent
Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? no
When will your next kiss be? probably next Friday. i tend to kiss a lot of people when im drunk...
Who was the first male you talked to today? my brother
okay that was kinda lame...
it must be the end.
wow... 3 days i have had nothing to say. nothing. not one thing. i can recap about the past three days. crazy fun party. im not gonna go into details or anything. but my god am i a lightweight. im still 130 lbs which is good. really good. the next day i had a headache... work was fun. mostly dead nothing important. you...i havent seen you. i sent you a drunk text from someones phone. but i cant remember what it said...i also deleted the text so the person couldnt see what i said... i kinda would like to know. so if YOUR reading this (which i hope your not.)also if you know who YOU are then please tell me what i sent you. i have a feeling i should be embarrassed or that i should bury my head in shame. but right now i really dont know. so im gonna convince myself it was just a "hey whats up...." but i know it wasnt... how 'bout that eh. i finally updated my blog.
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