It was a nightmare like no others.

last night i had an insane and twisted nightmare, the reason it was so horrid was that it was so personal. Before i went to sleep i was writing letters to my friends in victoria and Vernon, so there was nothing out of the ordinary there and i have absolutely no idea what triggered it. here goes:

i was walking around Sobeys and i saw you, you were working. i tried to avoid you by walking down the milk aisle, but you noticed me and waved. i turned my head away, and carried on walking, but you followed me and grabbed my arm. you apologised to me for ignoring me and not talking to me for weeks on end, you apologised for all the things you did that hurt me and i closed my eyes and we were sitting on the steps you were holding my hands. our heads leaned into each other and we were kissing. not a peck this was full on tongue battle. just as it was getting good, you got up and left. you deserted me in the middle of something so perfect. i was confused and hurt. i closed my eyes to help blink the few tears that i had created and when i got up to walk away i found i was walking up Johnson's road. Pippin was running and i was chasing him, we were having the time of our lives. i heard a truck come round the corner and i called pippin back to me, but he was on the other side of the road and the road curved round, and as he was running towards me tongue lolling out the truck picked up speed and crushed his fragile body under the front wheel. The truck drove away and i ran to my puppy and picked him up, he was limp. i held him close but he dissolved and fell through the cracks on the road, i fell on my knee’s and tried to pick him up but he was gone. i hit my head on the road, tears splashed and wetted the concrete. time after time i hit my head until i blacked out. when i opened my eyes again i was at a camp, i knew this place it was lake cartwright.  i was sitting on a log and a little boy was sitting on my lap, i knew who this was he had bright blue eyes and he was giggling. he jumped off my legs and walked towards the water, i tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen. he tripped and hit his head on the dock falling head first in the cold lake. i tried to pick him up but my hands went right through his body, it was as if i turned into a ghost. i tried to call for help but no words escaped my mouth, all i could do was sit and watch him as he breathed in the dirty water. his family was just around the corner setting up tents, oblivious to the tragedy that just happened. i was distraught, what was happening? i looked across the lake and saw my Aunt standing on the water. i glided towards her, but she fell through the water and was sinking. i dived in and i was in her bedroom, she was lying in her bed, she looked exactly how my grandad described her. she was pale and cold, her curly golden hair had thinned and straightened and looked almost grey. her eyes were open and as i stared into them i realised and saw the white moon where her brown iris’s should of been, i realised that she was lifeless. i looked around the room and saw my grandad he was pacing back and forth in front of my uncle who was sitting down with his head in his palms. i ran out of the room, i wanted to get out of this world. i ran to the front door and when i opened it, molly sat there and meowed at me. she got up and started walking away, i followed her down the road. but then she disappeared, she vanished. i looked up at the moon as it rapidly descended but something was different, the sun wasn’t rising. life was fading to black. i carried on walking to try and find molly but eventually the twinkling stars dimmed and it was black. i stood calling out for molly, but she never came back. a street lamp appeared and i was standing exactly where molly disappeared. i looked around and noticed the shadows. shadows of cougars and bears, shadows of trucks and cars, of people with guns of giant spiders and then you appeared as a shadow. they were closing in on me and tried to push them away, but they got closer and closer till they were suffocating me and everything went black once more.

i woke up in a cold sweat, my blanket fort had collapsed on top of me. i was gasping for air, i couldn't breathe. i threw the white sheets off and sat up. what the fuck happened? i was so confused as to why this particular nightmare targeted everything tragic that happened to me this year, why it hit me now when i was finally feeling a little better.