once upon a time....if only

he wants to stop

             but he can't

he is addicted to it.

                     he's fine when he's with

                                    someone

             its just.

                       when they leave

and the door

                  closes

                                         the feeling of loneliness

seeps through the cracks

             takes over his mind

controls him

                uses him

                         hurts him

                                    breaks him

       till nothing is  l

                           e

                           f

                           t

                         but

blood soaked sheets

            and

tear stained pillows

                       and a shaky hand

                                     resting a

                                        bloody blade 

on his 

bedside table

   with a broken heart full of broken promises

       and a doctors appointment card ripped up on the floor.

                            

undercover heroes

there are some of you. mainly of the female kind. who i would gladly take a bullet for. i would push you out the way of a vehicle heading straight for you. i would beat up that fucker who broke your heart. i would give you a place to stay if you need it. i will be right beside you if you give me a call. i will always walk you home in the dark. i will be your shoulder to cry on. i would give you a hug when u need it most. i would write limericks for you to make you laugh. for some i would even kill myself to save you. and you wont even make me a fucking sammich!

...

if a genie asked me for three wishes. what would they be.
 wish number 1:  i would wish for strength (mentally and physically)
wish number 2:  i would wish for distances to be closer.
wish number 3: i would wish for magical powers (what type you ask...) well harry potter type powers,

I'm a wizard 'arry

so a guy comes through drive thru. and he says to me. "auzzie?"
i replied "nope"
"kiwi?"
"nope"
"are yah a wizard 'arry?"
"how did you guess...."
it was very entertaining. i chuckled.
then when he left. he said "no underaged magic outside of hogwarts. remember that boi."
that really made me laugh. i love some people.

< less than perfect.

woah. crazy story. so i was walking home from work, and i saw a plastic bag. my immediate thought was to pick it up. but i really couldnt be bothered walk over to the hedge and pull it out of the branches. so i carried on, i heard a rustling and had the strange feeling like someone was following me. so i looked behind. the bag was rolling towards me. i was like w/e its just the wind. so i ignored it. the bag kept following me. i got slightly creeped out so i turned right and went down another street. anyway i look behind me no bag. i was like phew. then i kept thinking how i should of picked it up and blah blah blah. looked behind me again and there it was rolling towards me. so i walked towards it and picked it up. that is my awesome story. i also slammed my finger in the spatula drawer. im starting to think that my workplace really hates me ><

3 + 1 = 2

i think more people should wake up in the morning and go online so people like me can has someone to talk to at 8:15am. but no you all way too cool to be up early in the summer. so i guess ill just sit here and type randomness for my blog. like how i had an interesting dream last night. k so i was skyping sierra and a little grade 8 hacked into her account. she was asking if i wanted to go to a football game with her. i was like no. then she was all p--p-p-p--p--please, so i was like "fine" so we went to this football game and the simpsons characters are playing. but then there was Peter beating up homer in the stands. then i woke up >.< yeh it was an amazing dream.i also woke up 30minutes late for wiork. ran next door, then he was like " oh im not ready, did you wanna come back in half an hour?" (you see, my neighbor is my boss, and he drives me to where we are tiling that day.) and here i am, waiting for those 30 minutes to be up. bored as hell.

so... i see how it is

i feel like a creep. i know what time your bed time is, so i raced home to skype you before you fell asleep. i know what time you wake up and i what time you got to work and what time you get off work, and how long it takes you to get home from work. i know where you work and what you eat for breakfast. i know what your dreams are and what you are doing in the fall. i know where you live. i dont know why i am listing this even. i feel like a creep, but im not i just remember these things, if you were any other person that told me this stuff id remember it too.  what im trying to get at is your barely ever online. and i really like talking to you. i dont have a cell so i cant text you whenever i feel like. i have to wait till you are online and arent busy which can be weeks. then when we do talk its maybe for half an hour cos your tired. i guess this is another reason why i should geet a phone. but truth be told i really dont want a phone, i like not having the responsibility of not paying for it and looking after it. so i guess i should quit whining. ill stop now.

In the end

well...to put into simple words. i got attacked by a fucking milkshake machine. that is all. wait, you want to know how? i pushed the pump button which filled the dispensing things with pressure then when i went to pour a milkshake boom, it exploded and milkshake was everywhere. ><

my fucking trifle!

okay so my day went from not so good to downright stupid. my sister left the bologneise out and when i go to eat some. it is covered in fruit flies= no lunch. yeh that was okay. because you know there is trifle in the fridge. trifle is. jelly, cake and fruit then covered in whipped cream and custard. my favourite thing ever!!!!! okay so i open the fridge see my trifle bowl go and scoop some out to eat and guess what. its fucking frozen. my trifle is frozen. i cant believe it, nothing else in the fridge is. was it a prank. i don't think so. my blood is boiling right now. i have 30 minutes till i have to go to work. and i don't get trifle. i am soooooo mad.

oh? thats lovely

well. life wasn't to good today. so i went and saw my doctor-who told me to see that counselor. so i developed my pictures and went to my counselor. we had a nice conversations. talked about my issues and it felt nice. BUT. when i was walking home i saw a crow. it looked at me and i felt sad. i looked in its eyes and saw that it was hurt. Then i noticed it was covered in those nasty big black ants. i wanted to help it. but what the fuck can yah do. to a frightened bird. all it gonna do is run away from you,  so i walked on and ignored it >.< i hope it gets all those ants off. but then there are too many crows in this valley to begin with they be eatin all the little birds. the circle of life strikes again.  whenever- black eyed peas. is the song im listening to right now. i like this song, and i think thats what i need. i need someone to love me forever, and who will be there for me (whenever i need them) whether they are on skype, whether i call them or spontaneously knock at their door. my counselor told me that i am struggling from isolation. am i? i think so. hmmmm. not sure how to end this post. but ............pshuuuuuuummmmmmmmm